One more day in August

One more day until September weeeeeee!! Crazy to think that summer is almost over and the time until I move is getting closer and closer. I've made my mind up that I am going to try and play at least 300k hands in September as I will have a few weeks in October to decompress nicely therefore burnout shouldn't be an issue.

This little hand challenge has lit a fire within me and I am becoming somewhat obsessed with poker again. It's a very similar feeling to when I first started playing online which is great because it is exactly how I should be. I play for a living and love my job therefore why shouldn't I be totally immersed and somewhat obsessive with playing, studying and talking about poker 24/7??

With no social obligations to distract me as well as no girls around I should be able to devote 100% of my time to poker this upcoming month and make the most of it. I'm really going to push myself and try and ship a $10k month, which can be done with a bunch of grinding and bonuses.

First week of Hand challenge over

The first week of the most hands in 2 weeks competition with Vanguard is over. I played ~53k which is definitely less than I wanted but I had alot of things in life going on. No excuses though and I'm gonna try and see if I can still hit 150k for the challenge. It is a a friendly thing, just a little extra incentive/competition to help the both of us grind out hands.

I made~$15 the first week which is really awful and one of the worst weeks I've ever had but it happens and I just kept chugging. I really appreciate the help from alot of guys giving advice and helping to keep me sane during this stretch.

One of my long time good friends is in town for his birthday tonight so I will be out celebrating tonight but do not have anything planned until the 20th of September. I fully intend on playing at least 300k hands next month and sort of need to to hit the 2k milestone for extra money to move. Playing a little over 50k hands this week gave me some inspiration and an idea that I can achieve at least 300k hands next month.

Let the games begin imo!!!!

Yesterday was grrrreaattttt

Yesterday was just the day I needed!! Started off stuck ~3 buyins and unded up winning over 15 to be up right around 12 bi's on the day....weeeeeeeeee!!! Sets started holding and over pairs stopped getting 2 outted and there were a ton of fish playing me HU (heads up) and SH (short handed) yesterday which was awesome.

I finally joined our group chat room yesterday and it is probably priceless. I was able to play 7k hands yesterday with ease and it helped keep me focused and fresh. All of the guys are great and its nice to talk to people from all over the world as well. This was my favorite hand from yesterday......its s SUPER standard hand.....I shoved turn for numerous reasons.

1. Villain had been very chatty towards me and was an absolute call station, therefore I figured he would call an overshove with any Ax type hand assuming I was bluffing, because afterall fish LOVE to call.
2. Villain typed "Just shove already".....so I obliged :)
3. Villain and I had been battling for awhile and he's the type of villain that loves to play big pots and thinks he can get under your skin.

***** Hand History for Game 32141866482 ***** (Poker Stars)
$25.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, August 28, 12:12:27 ET 2009
Table Aretaon III (Real Money)
Seat 5 is the button
Seat 2: sebipokert ( $25.00 USD )
Seat 3: odi385 ( $44.10 USD )
Seat 4: XFreeShotX ( $25.70 USD )
Seat 5: Dashornman ( $53.45 USD )
Seat 6: seanshawn80 ( $24.75 USD )
Seat 7: Timonga ( $28.05 USD )
Seat 8: XXXXX ( $37.05 USD )
Seat 9: john1226 ( $25.65 USD )
seanshawn80 posts small blind [$0.10 USD].
Timonga posts big blind [$0.25 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Dashornman [ Jd Js ]
XXXXX calls [$0.25 USD]
john1226 folds
sebipokert folds
odi385 folds
XFreeShotX folds
Dashornman raises [$1.25 USD]
seanshawn80 folds
Timonga folds
XXXXX calls [$1.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7d, Ah, Jh ]
bets [$0.25 USD]
Dashornman raises [$3.25 USD]
XXXXX calls [$3.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 9c ]
bets [$0.25 USD]
Dashornman raises [$48.95 USD]
XXXXX calls [$32.30 USD]
Dashornman wins $16.40 USD
** Dealing River ** [ As ]
XXXXX shows [5d, Ad ]
Dashornman shows [Jd, Js ]
Dashornman wins $71.45 USD from main pot

EV=ShouldaWouldaCoulda Graphs

Yesterday was going fairly well. I was having a solid grind all day long up ~$125 or so in 3-4 hours then disaster struck during my last sesh. Started my last sesh up ~a buyin and was on my way to having a great winning day, first time in awhile. Then in 1k hands I managed to run 5bi's below EV (Expected Value) and wipe away all of the days profits and end the day -$10 fing dollars......kafsnd;lgna;lkghn;lakrgnh.

I will try to clarify in words how much of a gut punch this is, especially considering how I've been running the past couple months. I'm down ~40 buyins in EV over my past 250k hands and its not like you just deserve to get those buyins back. To people who don't play poker, most just say "Oh well that's gambling, you can never win", which couldn't be further from the truth. Most winning players lose ~30-40% of the sessions they play, depending on stakes and length of sessions. Imagine going to your regular 9-5 desk job and 35% of the time your boss is going to dock your pay for trying/doing your best. Poker is very unique in the sense that we often associate reward or playing well with winning money, which isn't always the case. Therefore sometimes playing your best results in losing a large amount of money regardless.

Anyways, EV graphs and such are nice and might make some people feel better about their play but I have grown numb to them recently due to just seemingly always running bad (below EV). It's amazing how many guys I talk with about hands and they say "Thats standard" or "Wow, that sucks man" "How do you always run bad" etc. I will and do also acknowledge that I don't always play my best as well and part of "running bad" is playing bad. I know I have spewed a few buyins during this hand challenge.

I've never had a month where I was down money this late in the month or negative. It is just ridiculously sick how I can beat a stake for a year/1million + hands and then all the sudden 1 month just not win. I've tried to stay very positive throughout the month, take frequent breaks and do enjoyable things other than poker but I would be lying if I said it hasn't messed with my psyche or emotional state just a little. Poker is such a sick game and you have to be much more emotionally and mentally tough than most, even poker players, realize. Poker has helped make me a better person in the sense, that I've learned to deal and handle my emotions better but there are times like these when it is very tough.

I am not down and out by any means though. I woke up this morning, already started studying hands, reading the forum and getting in the mindset of playing the best poker I can play. I am still a very upbeat and happy person but the last couple weeks have really gotten to me. I have misplayed a few spots due to being a little tentative but overall I still think I am playing well and am looking forward to playing solid today.

Stopped downswing......for a minute

I dropped down and played a few K hands at 10nl. I ran breakeven and a few buyins below ev of course but it helped me get me back in the right mental state to start playing and winning again. Then I moved back up to 25 and shipped 4 buyins in ~2k hands and felt really great about my game. The second sesh in the afternoon yesterday I lost 5 buyins in ~1400 hands or so.......it's just so fing sick how many sets I flop where the villain flops a straight or turns a straight/flush and I can't fold at that point due to the amount of money already in the pot or villain is loosish etc...

This hand pretty much sums up my last session yesterday....There are a few interesting points in this hand. Villain was 17/17~30 hands short handed.

-I 3b because it was our first couple hands HU (Heads Up) and I wanted to see how villain would respond to 3bets and I thought I was 3betting for value against him.
-I definetly make the mistake of betting the flop. I fold out everything I beat and only get value from a couple draws such as AQ/AJ/QJ since we are kind of deep.
-The turn is just sick. I think c/shoving is probably best here long term but since we are still pretty deep I could maybe c/c here as well with it not being too awful because if villain has KK/TT/33 I doubt he is folding with the pot being so large and it being a backdoor flush draw that hits.

So I made 2 critical mistakes in this hand, leading the flop and leading the turn imo but once the spade hits on the turn I don't believe there is any way to get away from this hand.


***** Hand History for Game 32055970599 ***** (Poker Stars)
$25.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Tuesday, August 25, 06:43:16 ET 2009
Table Pollux II (Real Money)
Seat 9 is the button
Seat 7: Dashornman ( $34.95 USD )
Seat 9: ele11ven ( $37.05 USD )
ele11ven posts small blind [$0.10 USD].
Dashornman posts big blind [$0.25 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Dashornman [ Ts As ]
ele11ven raises [$0.65 USD]
Dashornman raises [$3.00 USD]
ele11ven calls [$2.50 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 3s, Kd, Th ]
Dashornman bets [$4.10 USD]
ele11ven calls [$4.10 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8s ]
Dashornman bets [$12.30 USD]
ele11ven raises [$29.70 USD]
Dashornman calls [$15.30 USD]
ele11ven wins $2.10 USD
** Dealing River ** [ 4d ]
Dashornman shows [Ts, As ]
ele11ven shows [Kc, Ks ]
ele11ven wins $68.90 USD from main pot


Afterwards villain insta sits out and then proceeds to tell me he doesn't play HU. I tell him hes full of **** and that we have played a few hands already and played 3 handed for a few more hands as well. Basically, I don't care what you say villain but you def hit n ran me. Then he says something like "Thanks for getting the thread started" in reference to the 2+2 thread, petitioning for 50bb min tables and helping get them for the micros. I took this as a huge needle and a definite d-bag thing to say, as in thanks for getting these tables started because if you hadn't I wouldn't have stacked you.......oh well......plenty of villains like this and I normally end up getting the last laugh when people start things like this with me.


Overall my mental state is still pretty strong. I made a good quit yesterday after this hand and my friend Dan was here sweating me. Eventhough I was stuck 5 buyins I felt tilt starting to happen and just X'd out of Stars and went and had some dinner and discussed poker for awhile. I plan on playing a lot of hands today and don't have any other distractions, with friends coming over, errands or things to do around the apartment.

Stopped downswinging maybe????

Well, I continued to downswing yesterday, which put me in the red for the month. I haven't been in the red this late in the month ever but I am just gonna bear down and keep grinding, there is no other option. The graphy graph......fml....maybe it has bottomed out though....we shall see planning on at least 10k hands today. I am running ~7 buyins below ev of course but I always run below ev so that doesn't really bother me much.

I lost ~ another 4 buyins at the Quarter ($25 nl) in a few k hands in my first sesh and decided to drop down to 10NL. I haven't played 10nl seriously, for money EVER. I have dropped down a few times to try out things or build confidence when I'm running bad but it was something that had to be done in order to not bust my roll.

I cleared the $650 bonus last night as well and over the past few weeks have cashed out a good chunk of my roll to pay bills etc.......and just haven't made ANY money at all. I think I'm gonna play 10nl until I make 10 buyins and then move back up and start crushing the Quarter once again. The confidence I will gain, as well as analyzing my play will be priceless and I have no ego problems about dropping down. At the end of the day this is a job/career and it's all about making as much money as you possibly can.

****The show 2m2mm on G4 aired its second episode last night as well and was a very solid episode. It is a great insight into the high stakes poker world, yes it is glamorized for tv purposes but the group of 4 guys on the show portray the poker world very well imo. For those of you interested or curious about the poker lifestyle/world check it out on G4 sometime. It's also entertaining to watch young-mid 20 somethings spend as well as make absurd amounts of cash and just have fun.

Stop Loss.......for the loss

Yesterday started my hand volume prop bet with Vanguard. I played ~6300 hands and ended up hitting my stop loss, which forced me to quit. A stop loss is a number I have set for myself that if I hit, I quit playing no matter what. There is a certain pain threshold individual to each player. At that threshold it is pretty close to impossible to play your best game, therefore quitting is just best.

Conveniently as I was hitting my stop loss my roommate and friends came home/over and wanted to go out. It was nice to go out and have some drinks and get my mind off poker for awhile.

I went to church for the first time in years with some friends and their family this morning as well which was refreshing. I was able to relax and not really think about anything for a few hours which was very refreshing. It wasn't the spiritual enlightenment/reassurance that many receive from going to church but in a way it was my own version of that. I've had struggles over the years with religion in general due to various personal negative interactions and hypocrisies with important people in my life but haven't completely shut out the option in the future. I think it's important to keep an open mind in life in general.

Getting ready to start up the second day of the challenge and am aiming to play at least 7k hands today.

Graph so far......weeeeeeeee poker is fun.......~64% of the time ;). I don't think I've had a 6k hand stretch where I only stacked 1 full stack during that period ever.

Starting 2 week prop bet today

I am starting a prop bet today for most hands played in a 2 week period with a fellow 2+2er, Vanguard. He plays higher than me and not much money is on the line (only $100) but I needed some friendly competition to help motivate me to reach my overall 200k vpps goal within the next month and a half.

Should be pretty interesting, I plan on playing 150k hands during this 14 day span which is around 11k hands a day. I will basically have to play 8 hours a day to achieve this, which is a shit load actually. Most people scoff when I say that playing 8 hours of poker online a day is alot, but trust me it is. Most people's jobs do not consist of 8 hours of focus and hard work. Most people spend time looking on facebook, getting up and visiting around the office, then a couple of breaks, some work thrown in and then back to facebook. I am not saying that I work harder than most people, but I am stating that most people do not do a job that consists of 8 total hours of 100% focus and effort.

I digress, this will definitely be a challenge for me as I have never put in this much volume in such a short time. I also plan on playing at least one 20k hand day, as I have never played that many hands in a day. The next couple of weeks will be interesting and I am looking forward to pushing myself and shipping some fing dollars!!!!

Life as a poker player-boring intro stuff

As of January 1st 2009 I started playing poker, mostly online, for a living. This has always been a dream of mine, as I have always enjoyed playing as a hobby. I had reached a point in the job world where I was utterly frustrated with my current and past jobs and finally decided to take the leap and pursue my dream.

While I should have started this blog 8 months ago, it is probably best I start it now. January-March were a mindless grind to make enough money to get by while learning very little. The first few months were really life altering as I had to get used to the ups and downs you have every day as a poker player. It's very hard to understand if you don't have a job where you win/lose a significant amount of money every day to understand the emotional roller coaster you go through mentally.

I'm sure I will say this many times over but poker is a game of SKILL, with some "luck" involved. I don't really believe in luck per say, as I believe in math but that's a topic for another day. That being said, there are many days where you will play optimally and still lose. This took me months to swallow and is still hard to deal with sometimes, to this day. Needless to say I have become much more emotionally strong over the past 8 months due to poker which is something that will help me through the rest of my life.

Another major change to my life was the lifestyle. I learned years ago that I am not an early morning person. Poker has given me the ability to make my own hours, which are anything from standard. Sometimes I wake up at 3:30 am (funny/ironic I know) and start playing. Other times I won't play until 4 in the afternoon. The bad thing, socially, is that the best times to play are always Friday and Saturday nights. It gives me the flexibility and freedom but to be successful at anything in this world you need to really dedicate a good portion of your life to your career/job. This is something that has become apparent to me over the past month or so. I was somewhat happy with the feeling that I had successfully supported myself while pursuing my dream job but felt a growing uneasiness. That uneasiness was not being satisfied with just getting by. I have set up numerous goals over the next few months to help push myself and really devote a lot of time to poker, which has to be done.

Anyways to keep the first post somewhat brief, basically I have just been grinding away for 8 months building up my bankroll and playing and studying as much as possible. Yes, that's right you have to STUDY to get better at poker. Many of my real life friends laugh when I say study, but its true.

I am planning a move to San Diego within the next 1-2 months with ChicagoJoey. He is my best poker friend and we both want to get a place together to really step up our poker games as well as live someplace that isn't Indiana.

My goals for the year and next couple months:

Currently at 139,535.47 vpps on the year
I want to reach 200k vpps before I move to San Diego within the next month or so, which is about 3-400k hands depending on the stakes I play at.

I also have a prop bet coming up for most hands played in a two week period, to which I plan on playing at least 150k hands during that time (~11k a day).

I still want to reach 400k vpps before the end of the year.

*Vpps=VIP points for playing on a PokerStars, for those that don't know. It is an incentive to be loyal to a them. Basically I receive a certain % of the rake I pay back. Rake = amount of money you must pay the house/casino/online poker room for every hand you play, its how they make money.