I had one hell of a variance laden day yesterday. Started off the first sesh stuck ~$200 in 900 hands, $150 of which I lost to a super fish running 94/45. I got it in 5 times against him 2 ahead, 2behind and 1 flip and lost all 5 obviously. I was also deep when I had JJ on the button and the fish open raised to $26.05 utg, obviously I ship over and lose a 300 bb pot to his AQo on an AQQ flop, to get the fiasco started. I tilted one buyin to him with QTo but the fish was literally shoving over every single one of my raises so whatever.
That pretty much layed out the path of my day. I grinded my ass off for ~5 hours to get almost back to even, took a break then came back and dumped another 4-5bis and decided to call it quits for the night.
As I do session reviews, study and recall my play and emotional state during various sessions, tilt really is my number one hinderence. It's not monkey tilt where I'm just shoving T4o over raises or anything but it normally happens when I lose 4-5 big pots in a row to hands that I can't really do anything about. I get mad at the fact that I feel like I am always running bad. This is obviously a bad mental state and I do my best to try and avoid thinking like this at all costs but days like yesterday are nearly impossible for me to not think like that. I know in the long term I want fish calling pot size bets 2 streets to hit gutshots/flush draws but its annoying when by the time we get to the river we can never (barely ever) find a fold.
Joey was getting on me about thinking like that and again I normally don't think or talk like a fish but there are days where you try your hardest and it just isn't going to happen. I guess that is true with any profession though. I've been experimenting with different things to help keep me in positive moods during sessions. One is taking breaks every ~2 hours or so to give my mind a few minute break from the constant strain and stress of focusing and concentrating on decisions. Two, I have been trying to leave the chat room open with the guys and I find that it keeps me a little looser, mentally as most of the guys are really funny and there is always something funny to talk about. Third, I try and be physically clean such as taking a shower before a session, brushing my teeth and hate having my hands greasy. I'm probably developing some sort of mild OCD. The fourth is my environment. I bought another scent globe yesterday, try and have sunlight shinning in during the day and drink lots of water. I'm just going to keep focusing on these things and just play my game and crush like I know I can.
Today should be an interesting day as I'm having a really strong urge to grind, not sure if I'll go for 20k today but we'll see how the day progresses.
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